Now, where was I?

After a 15 hour flight with an hours stop over in Sydney, I was suitably knackered as we pulled into LAX. To my surprise the customs and border security types were not the horror story I've heard others having to suffer. I had six hours in LA and no real desire to leave the airport as it was hot and humid outside, so I spent the first hour checking my bags and exploring the terminals.

Having done that I went through the security cordon, put all my gear (including my shoes) through the X-ray machine and went and got something to eat. I found my terminal, surfed the 'net, made a phone call home, wandered to another terminal and had a beer while watching NASCAR (gives you an idea how bored I was) and gradually the hours ticked away.

Boarding time (YAAAAARRRR!), the person says when we board it will be first class, then people at the back of the plane to come on first. Then nothing.... ten minutes later "I apologise, it appears we have a problem with the plane, we shall try to rectify it and notify you when we do".

Anyway, long story short. Six hours, three promised planes, a near riot in the terminal and two phone calls to Tone later at 10.30pm (two hours after the time we would have landed in New Orleans) we leave LAX. Delta sucks fat ones people, bear that in mind.

So I arrive in New Orleans at 4.30am (+2 hours for crossing the country) on Monday and poor Tone (who was going to meet me at 12.30am) picks me up and takes me back to his place an hours drive north on Lake Ponchetrain, in new Mandeville. I say hi to Buffy, give Tone his and Ems presents (five litres of Milo and roll on deoderants that Em can't get in the USA) but Em is away in Florida with her parents. Tone gives me the tour of the house and let me tell you it is absolutely fecking HUGE! Six large bedrooms, two bathrooms, three toilets, massive living area, study, kitchen and dining area. I'll have to get the video I took off Tone and post it somewhere so you can have a look.

Now Tone has an hour before he's due at work, so we take Buffy for a walk around the golfcourse his house backs onto and I make dew angels on the fairway. Tone cleans himself up, gets dressed for work and leaves me to my own devices in the house and tells me not to fall asleep until that night. Hundreds of channels of cable TV and broadband internet hundreds of times faster than anything we get in Australia and I'm happy.

After eating breakfast, watching a movie, about two hours of YouTube clips and about half an hour of NFL preseason, I fall asleep on the couch around 3pm. Tone gets home at 6 to find me still there. Well, can you blame me? I've had about six hours sleep in the last two days.

We go exploring as Tone shows me what life is like around the rather affluent, but with some distinct redneck area of semi-rural (but semi-urban) Louisiana. It's a bizarre mix of stand alone shopping strips (each with its own car park) and no footpaths, HUGE houses on HUGE blocks with HUGE cars and road rules that make me spend the first couple of days flinching every time we reach an intersection or turn a corner. Tone takes me to a bar in old Mandeville (which I think has infinite more charm- and footpaths) and we have a beer and hamburger (both of which were quite nice) before cruising home for the both of us to have a really good nights sleep.


The Tuesday we're up bright eyed and bushy tailed to go shopping. Firstly we stop in old Mandeville and have brekkie at a local cafe. I'm hungry so I order a side of mushrooms, sausages, hashbrowns, bacon and toast. It arrives and I realise there's a reason so many people in the US are obese, the servings are fucking ENORMOUS! My mushrooms arrived covered in cheese and swimming in a garlic butter sauce in a dish I swear I could've swum in. I battled manfully but was thankful that Tone had brought Buffy along as she scored most of my bacon and sausages.

And while we're on bacon, I have to say US (and north American in general) bacon sucks the big fat pink one. It's the equivalent to the thin strip on the end of the bacon we have in Oz, but with the fat cut off. Then they fry it to within an inch of its life. I'm looking forward to some fat arsed Australian rasher bacon when I get home.

After this I'm a bit hairy having not shaved for three weeks due to a rash. Well, the rash has cleared up so I go to the local barbershop for a trim and shave. Tone takes Buff to the lake for a swim and eventually I get in. I have a great chat with the barber about Australia (it's as big as the US but only has 20 million people), sport (we both agree baseball sucks, he because of steroids while he loves the local College football team, LSU) and life being born and living in Mandeville and how it has changed with all the new development around it. He also gives me a good trim, which impressively includes my eyebrows and nostril hair. If thats a standard, I might have to find me a good barber in Australia.

Following waiting outside for a while in the air condidtioned car, I finally depart with Tone as he takes me to Best Buy and I get a spanking new digital camera with a case and 4GB memory card for less than I could get it for in Australia, including exchange rates. Then I buy some sunnies and I'm set. Following this Tone tells me to pack a day pack with two days worth of clothes as we're heading off to New Orleans for a mystery flight.

That afternoon we arrive in New Orleans and Tone does a scoot around the areas that were pasted by Hurricane Katrina, including a drive past the section of the levee that broke. It was pretty eerie seeing the still abandoned houses with the cross and symbols that designated the house had been searched and what was found painted on the outside.

We pull into the airport, park the car, head to the terminal, walk straight past a line that would have taken about an hour to get through to electroncially check in with SouthWest (travelling with carry on ROCKS!) and we're set. A beer in a bar later and our plane is called. As Tone had checked in online the day before, we get our choice of seats and despite having landed 15 minutes beforehand we're soon taxiing our way down the runway on our way to Orlando, Florida. WE'RE GOING TO DISNEYLAND!

I just have to note that when flying Southwest we had no hassles or delays at all, our flights were dirt cheap (thanks for that, Tone) and as Tone swears by them, I'd also recommend Southwest if you're travelling in the US.

So at around 9.30 we pull into Orlando and are picked up by Em and taken to our hotel. I meet Ems parents once more and we all collapse for a good nights sleep before hitting the parks.

To be continued.

Okay, time to pull the finger out

Back once more. I really should start writing what I've been up too before I forget it.

Left Gero, flew to Perth, plane to Sydney (bloody Qantas sending Melbourne frequent flyers through Sydney) is delayed.

Nothing to do in the Perth terminal. And I mean nothing. They've taken out the internet terminals and are playing the Footy Show on the terminal televisions. I don't feel like a televisual lobotomy, so for about three hours I stalk laps of the terminal muttering under my breath. A good way to bring yourself to the attention of security (particularly with a fairly overgrown beard due to not being able to shave due to a rash) but perhaps they thought I would detonate myself if approached so I managed to avoid any troubles.

Finally get on the plane, land in Sydney, transfer (sprint between terminals to arrive at the Melbourne flight just as it's boarding) and safely touch down in Melbourne. I am met by a slightly sweaty but beautiful nonetheless, Shaguar. She arrived at the airport to discover the plane had just landed.

After finding my baggage hadn't arrived with me, we departed, after being held up by several swarthy looking men wearing black hats, chaps, spurs and carrying Colt 45s (would you believe a machine with Pay for Parking Here written on it?) and headed back to the Shaguars abode. What followed was a lovely, lazy day, keeping warm in front of the heater and eating some seriously good take away Thai. My baggage was even delivered by a rather nice rake thin Indian chap, wearing the whole headgear and bindi shebang.

Saturday morning we got packed up, dressed up and cruised into the city to have the big Richards family Yum Cha. Birdie num-nums is all I will say. With Mum, Aunty Lel and Marg, Uncle Andy, Clare, Ness, Hugh, Karen, Angus and Davey it was the first full family get together we've had in a mighty long time. Poor Sharon being inundated by Richards, but she stood up exceptionally well (in fact, seemed to quite enjoy herself) and even scored some nice duty free Jurlique from Nessa as a bonus.

Following lunch Sharon and myself bade farewell to everyone and headed to Sam and Nirvanas in Sale. A leisurely cruise out along the Gippsland Highway/Freeway to Sale, then turning off to Golden Beach to be met by Sam, Nirvana, Matt and his new girlfriend whose name escapes me (I'm terrible with names). Golden Beach is a beautiful little seaside hamlet set in amongst the near beach brush and trees, about a half hour drive from Sale, serviced by a General Store and a Fish 'n' Chip shop.

Sam and Nirvanas house is a nice, big seaside shack that obviously became someones folly. Two stories with a firemans pole to get from the top floor (the sleeping area) to the lounge if you so wished. It had that air of an unfinished house just awaiting someone with enough money to come in and complete what was started on it.

A lazy night in eating cheese and pasta, drinking beer (or wine for those more sophisticated amongst us), sitting in front of the heater and talking crap ensued. Also Matt and Sam engaged in a competition to see who could scale the Bat Pole, leading from the upper story to the lounge room. Guitars were produced and songs sung towards the end of the night before we all climbed into bed for the night. Marvelous stuff.

A slow morning on Sunday which included a venture forth by the men of the clan to find firewood in the Flog (Sams new VeeDub). A leisurely day of further talking rubbish and eating, followed by some sterling kitchen work on Nirvanas behalf. Jamie Oliver move over.

A pit was dug on the next block for a fire- it's a vacant block, we weren't setting fire to anyones holiday home- and we started on the firewood we bought earlier in the day along with a stack of wood that was felled by a storm a couple of weeks earlier. We moved a stack of chairs outdoors and sat around the fire in the late afternoon and into evening, eating, drinking and talking rubbish.

After the sun had set and all the alcohol in the house had been consumed, Matt was similarly consumed by pyromaniacal urges and decided that all the firewood on the block must be burnt at once. Sam protested, expressed his concerns and then joined in, throwing any scraps of wood that Matt may have missed onto the raging inferno. It was quite an impressive sight from the road (the threat of third degree burns or the block going up in flames had nothing to do with us watching from there- not at all), although I was concerned at having such a large fire at such a late stage of the night.

Then I found out it was 8.30pm. That's what happens when you kick off at 4 in the afternoon.

Monday morning Sam and Nirvana surfaced early and disappeared off to work while the rest of us took off for the journey back around 9. After dropping off Matty, Sharon and I headed back to Coburg. We headed to the cinema (I think it was Monday) and caught the afternoon screening of The Simpsons Movie. Meh, is about all I can say. Very few laughs and a not particularly brilliant storyline. After that was a night of Sharon and I watching Top Gear and just enjoying spending some time alone together.

Tuesday morning the Shaguar dropped me off at Spencer Street on her way to the giant checkerboard and I caught the train to the 'Bool. An easy three hour trip later and I'm met by Kaz and the boys (sounds like an 80's Pop band). Nessa was at the 'Bool as well, so the boys had no shortage of attention. I spent a happy couple of days hanging with everyone, including a day that Hugh took off work, and indulging in the pleasure of having two highly excitable young boys to play with. Much Thomas the Tank Engine did ensue.

My visit also included being woken at 8am each morning by Fireman Sam yelling WAKE UP UNCLE NOOKE! at me then him jumping up and down on me when I ignored him. This would degenerate into me tackling both Fireman Sam and his offsider Elvis, pinning them down under the guise of me giving them a hug and trying to catch an extra couple of minutes nap before they'd start wriggling and complaining.

Alas, all good things must end. So with heavy hearts, Nessa and myself boarded the train back to Melbourne for Ness and Geelong for me. I was off to visit Mum for her birthday. I gave her the fish patê dish that Sharon bought her (which sat perfectly with the rabbit, duck and chicken she had sitting on the dividing wall between the kitchen and lounge) and the battery powered crumb vacuum cow I found in a homeware store in the 'Bool. Then Mum and I had a lovely day of just hanging out and relaxing.

Early the next morning (Friday) I jumped the train to Melbourne back into the waiting arms of the Shaguar. For the next two days we really didn't get up to much (other than buying industrial quantities of Milo and roll on deodorant for Tone and Em in New Orleans). We cruised into the city and saw the Pixar (Toy Story, Monsters Inc. Cars, etc) exhibition at ACMI and the Guggenheim exhibition at the NGV on the Friday but other than that we just enjoyed being a couple prior to yet another forced separation (this time until Xmas).

Sunday morning it was early out to the airport, booking in and the inevitable wait prior to the plane boarding and heading off to the USA. Which will be the subject of my next blog entry (some time in the near future) when I get motivated to write some more.

More than anything, my time back in Melbourne surrounded by family and friends just drove home how much I miss the place. Gero is lovely and I've enjoyed my time there, but it's not home. Gimmie a year to finish what I'm currently working on and I will finally be back where I belong.

And then there was life

Whoa, has it really been that long since I posted here.

I think you can pretty much sum up what has happened in the last four months since I posted with what I said in my last post (minus the Shaguar -BOOOOOOO!!!-, without the stack of public holidays, with more time out in the field and with less virulent colds). Okay, so it's pretty much nothing like my last post.

The one thing that is the same is that I've been flat out trying to get the sampling program up and running, and guess what!?!?! IT IS! Woohoo!

The other thing that is still the same is we still haven't received that f**king trailer for my sampling program. I'm starting to wonder if we ever will. Seriously guys, you've been telling me it's coming in two weeks FOR THE LAST SIX MONTHS!! Mind you, they're telling me it's actually in the process of being put together, they're just waiting on a part.

Right........... got a bridge you want to sell me, too? Thankfully I have a highly capable offsider who I trust to do a good job in running the program while I'm away. I'll have to get him to harass the trailer company non stop for the next couple of weeks. I can only hope they deliver (BY F**KING AUGUST, NOT BLOODY FEBRUARY LIKE YOU INITIALLY TOLD ME!!).

Anyway, the reason for me surfacing from my blogging slumber is to cheer loudly as I head off on seven weeks holidays from this Friday! A large huzzah for holidays! Pip pip, HUZZAH!

So expect lots of gloating emails and blog entries about my travels through the loved ones laden adventures of marvellous Melbourne, the alcoholic, aural and gastronomic delights of humid New Orleans (or N'Orleans), the historical Aztecs, the peaceful beauty of the place where Captain Pectorals is getting married, bustling Mexico City and where ever else I journey through South of the Border, and the million and one drooling touristy things to do in the city that never sleeps that is London. Added on the end will be a short and quite possibly hideously alcoholically expensive stopover in Singapore.

Stay tuned people, there shall be life in this blog yet.

Working Hard and Slacking at the same time

Strange times with work. I've been working damn hard and actually getting stuff done. I got back to work on the Tuesday the 20th to about a half dozen "I know you've just gotten back from holidays but can you get this done NOW?" requests. Thankfully I was actually motivated and got through four of the six that day. Literally a frenzy of activity and quite satisfying.

The Wednesday I feel a bit fluey and I'm told the two girls in my office who have kids have had days off looking after their kids who have a cold thats going around. I still get the fourth of the problems sorted out and another that sprung up that day. That night the Shaguar and myself visit friends for a few drinks and conversation. We end up staying out until midnight, at which time I can feel the flu coming on strong.

Thursday I go to work, feeling like death, coughing and sneezing, so I can get the last of the "Things I absolutely must do!" list done. I organised meeting at head office the next week in Perth, talked to a company about dropping off and getting a pump kitted out for a project I'm working on at the same time, then talked to the regional manager about the last of the "TIAMD!" problem. Then after lunch I piss off home to be looked after by the Shaguar.

Friday I wake up having had a dodgy nights sleep, feeling clogged up, coughing and sneezing but otherwise not feeling too bad. I call in sick and spend the day lazing around home with the Shaguar. What else are sickies for? Besides, I don't want to spread my flu around the office.

Saturday I start to feel like I'm on the mend. The Shaguar wakes up feeling like death. Time for a role reversal as I spend the day making sure she feels okay, going out and buying strepsils and paracetamol, fluffing her pillows, getting her drinks and trying to make her as comfortable as possible. She has a terrible nights sleep and ends up sitting up reading in the lounge until 3am.

Sunday I finally convince the Shaguar that when you use the decongestant spray I have it does not "go down the back of your throat and taste horrible". After a great deal of badgering she uses it and half an hour later, after further badgering, sheepishly admits that it actually works really well and she can breathe through her nose for the first time in two days.

She's going to hit me for that the next time we catch up.

Monday the 27th the Shaguar was due to head off back to Melbourne but wakes up feeling like poo still, so she stays on another day but I head off back to work. Get in to find another two "Can you please do this ASAP" requests. Crikey!

Organise further meetings in Perth, discover that one meeting I organised last week has been cancelled. Damn! I've just booked accommodation for the Wednesday, Thursday and Friday nights and could have come back Friday. Ah well.

Get home to a Shaguar looking a little healthier.

Tuesday, the Shaguar heads off (and takes my decongestant spray with her). It takes her six days to get back to Melbourne arriving on the Sunday, after having taken only three to get over here. Go to work, get the rest of the "Must do" things done, return home to an empty house. Quite depressing, but at least I know I'll be seeing her again in June, then late July, then December. Back to emails, text messages and phone calls.

Do a half day at work Wednesday before heading to Perth and dropping off the pump. Check into my hotel, kick back in bed and watch Foxtel.

Thursday I have meetings and get some very useful info on a couple of the projects I'm working on.

Friday I sit at a computer, faff around and get some work done but I'm far from motivated.

Saturday I drive back home. Sunday I clean the house.

Monday (today) I have a public holiday. I head down the beach with a boogie board I was given by an insane surfer mate of mine who salvaged it off a beach somewhere. I get dumped, caught in a rip and then there are just no waves at all. My boogie board has no wrist strap and I'm like a greased pig with all the sunscreen I smeared on myself, so I cling onto it for dear life and after a bit of a struggle I manage to extract myself and get into an area where there are a couple of waves breaking.

I catch the one decent sized wave in the last ten minutes to extract myself to near shore, walk along shore a bit and find a better place. I can stand where the waves are breaking, resting on my boogie board and for an hour, set after set of 1 to 1.5m waves roll in.

It's 42 degrees today, I'm sitting at my computer under my fan, but my shorts and t-shirt are still damp and I've got a nice, large, cold drink sitting next to me. I sometimes forget how nice this place can be.

So, in all, for the last two weeks I've worked hard, but in essence had two three day weeks. This week is a four day week and I still have a stack of work to do.

But I can't complain. Life is good.

'Citing Stuff mk II

Sorry I hadn't posted this earlier, I've come down with a filthy cold and I could only get time to do it today.

Anyway...

Thursday

We got up and cruised off from our very comfy Margaret River apartment and went down to Augusta, where the Southern Ocean meets the Indian Ocean. We cruised to the lighthouse on the southwestern tip, but we were stuffed if we were going to pay to get in as we'd already done out lighthouse bit, so we took photos of it from a distance.

They don't encourage cross species mating at this lighthouse

This was the Shaguar being creative

This was me being creative (and slightly off centre)

After this we had a pleasant drive through the southwest to Albany, stopping off on the way at a little old logging town called Pemberton to explore their visitor centre. After that we headed off to do some nature exploration.

We got to the treetop walk near Albany in the Valley of the Giants, which was a 40m raised walkway. It was awesome stuff and heres some pics to prove it.

A view from 40m up

A tree with a burnt out centre and me for scale

Another burnt out tree with me inside it

A fat arsed wombat coming out of its burrow

These huge trees are estimated to be up to four hundred years old.

We got into Albany around 6pm, checked into our hotel, unpacked, relaxed then went to KFC for dinner. The Shaguar got a couple of bits of chicken and two small tubs of gravy to eat my large chips with and I got a meal deal thingy. They duly arrived and they'd given her literally a bucketful of gravy.

And she ate it all with relish admittedly over two days. We had a lovely quiet night in and slept like logs.

Friday

Got up and explored the town. The Shaguar was most interested in the op shops (surprise!!) while I wandered off and looked at Dog Rock.

Yes, in fact I travelled back in time to take this photo (nothing to do with the batteries in the camera being flat). We drove to the top of a local mountain and war memorial thingy and checked out the view and wandered down a local beach where there was no surf. Despite this, there was a class of people being instructed on how to surf, mostly by standing on their boards on the beach.

We headed back to the hotel in the late afternoon and sat relaxing in the spa before having a quiet night in.

Saturday

We cruised back to Perth around ten in the morning and got in around 2pm and checked into the pub we were staying at in the heart of Fremantle. But the room wasn't ready, so we dropped off out bags, got a drink on the house and ordered a meal. It arrived, the Shaguar got Nachos and I got a Parma, and we munched down.

We wandered upstairs and our room still wasn't ready. We were given a meal ticket as compensation and went and explored the main drag of Freo. The Shaguar looked at rock shops, book shops and other discount stores.

After this and around midafternoon we wandered back to the hotel, where our room was finally ready and had a nanna nap.

That night we strolled the main drag, bought a stack of books, got some extremely scrummy gelati and enjoyed the life of Fremantle. We then went to bed but didn't get to sleep until late and unfortunately the Shaguar was kept awake a while longer by off tone belltower clock across the street that chimed every quarter of an hour (and a chainsaw lying in the bed next to her).

Sunday

Up and off to Guildford to stay at the historic (or hysterical) Rose and Crown Hotel in rather modern rooms which were quite comfy. We checked in after midday, unpacked our bags and rested, the Shaguar went for a quick swim then we headed to the Belvoir Amphitheatre to the Good Vibrations festival.

We explored where all four stages were in the venue and settled on going to the secondary stage, which was the Amphitheatre itself, to catch some acts. The amphitheatre was a beautiful place, with trees scattered through it and decent sized steps so that everyone got a good view of the stage no matter where you were.

There were masses of people packed into this particular section of the festival and we enjoyed the progression of acts. We saw Nightmares on Wax, who was a dub/dance act that had a few songs I knew, but none that really grabbed me. Following this, and throughout the day, as they dismantled the stage and set up for the next act they had DJs playing, who were actually pretty good.

Up next was DJ JS-1, who played a set of rock/hip-hop/dance and mixed it in an insane way. It was brilliant as he'd cut between AC/DC to ABBA to Herbie Hancock to Rage Against the Machine in the space of a minute. Then he was cutting the same section of a song back and forth between two turntables at insane speed before doing the same thing on one turntable using his foot. Once he'd gotten the crowd warmed up, he called "The Undisputed Beatbox Champion of the World TM" Rhazel onto stage.

Rhazel, using a microphone, can imitate the drum beat, sound effects and rappers or singers on a great number of songs. And he is seriously good at it. He had JS-1 play songs, then he'd imitate them perfectly using nothing but a mic. Despite a few problems getting the sound right he put on a great show and really got the crowd into it.

Following this was the reason why I bought tickets to this concert. The Jurassic 5 were up and let me tell you, they were well worth seeing. The crowd went nuts as they put in a high energy show, playing a great mix of their old and their new songs. The group are four MC's and a DJ and the amazing thing about them is, apart from being intelligent, literate rappers that put across a positive message (which is a rarity in the music industry nowdays), they have four different toned voices (from low to high) that fit together really well. And they can sing as well.

From the moment they came on stage they had the crowd in the palm of their hand, kept them entertained, made jokes and were obviously having fun together out there. They also distanced themselves as far as they possibly could from the direction the USA is currently headed, which also went down well with the crowd. The only complaint I had was the DJ was set too far back in the mix, so you couldn't easily hear what the backing track was or what he was doing unless he was solo, but other than that, I loved it. There's a rumour going around they could be breaking up soon, and if this is true I'm damn glad I got to see them before they did because they were seriously good in concert.

After this we extricated ourselves from the amphitheatre and wandered out and waited for an hour at the main stage for the Beastie Boys to come on. We claimed our spot, back and on one side of the stage and waited.

As we waited we were accosted by a drunk guy who happily chatted to us about the lack of coverage from his mobile in the local area (which is literally just on the outskirts of Perth- so pretty sucky). The Shaguar is with the same company and had being suffering the same problems throughout the holiday so she vehemently agreed with him. He continued his rant before being distracted and his mind wandering off back to the stage being set up. Then his brother came over, so the guy introduced us to him (although he didn't know our names). I was Tony and the Shaguar was Danza.

Then the B-Boys came on and did a best-of set list. It was great, they were fun but you could tell they were at the end of a tour. The keyboardist (I'm not sure if it was Money Mark or not) went nuts and at one stage even played the keyboard with his head while doing a handstand on it. They drank a bottle of Dom Perignon to the crowds health and even gave a shoutout to Fremantle and Rottnest Island. They played No Sleep 'Til Brooklyn, Brass Monkey, Shake Your Rump, Root Down, Three MCs and One DJ, pretty much all of their big hits along with several of their instrumental songs off In Sound From Way Out, and finished with Sabotage (which was also dedicated to George Bush). A heck of a gig and a mighty fun day.

We raced off to the car after Sabotage and beat the rush of traffic and was back at the hotel around 11pm to shower and collapse before leisurely heading back home the next day.

'Citing stuff

And then there was life once more in moistie blogland.

Howdy all, I'm back at work having had a very pleasant eleven days off work. So what happened?

Prelude

Well, the Shaguar arrived on the Wednesday night, having driven the 4,000 odd km to Gero from Melbourne in three days. The third day she drove about 1,700km, departing around 5.30-6am and getting in at past 9pm that night. Needless to say she was knackered and proceeded to fall in a heap in my huge and incredibly comfy King sized bed.

I got up at seven and went to work the next day, but from all reports the Shaguar didn't surface again until 11.30am. Even then she was delerious.

I got home that night, packed my big and small backpack, then wielded the big stick over the Shaguar on just exactly how much we could fit into the car to go on holidays. That meant about two small boxes got left behind, with Sharons two suitcases, small backpack and multiple bags of shampoo/conditioner/other femaley type stuff coming along for a ride.

Friday

We left around 11am got in mid afternoon, checked in to our hotel, showered, got dressed and went to the Sparrow restaurant in Northbridge for some phenomenally cheap Indonesian food. We both had vegie spring rolls for entree, a nasi goreng (not the Chinese Emperor) between us, Sharon had a marinated steak doohickey and I had a chicken curry and we both had a can of drink. We were stuffed an it cost us $30 all up.

Following that we went and saw Roger Waters in concert. Let me just say it was absolutely 'effin brilliant. My personal favourite of the night would have been Time, in particular the drum solo at the start. Not far behind was Great Gig in the Sky, which was the Shaguars' favourite of the night. The woman who did it was just perfect.

Other highlights for me were Have a Cigar, Wish You Were Here and Comfortably Numb.

And just to rub it in, here's the set list.

FIRST HALF: In The Flesh, Mother, Set The Controls For the Heart Of The Sun, Shine On You Crazy Diamond, Have A Cigar, Wish You Were Here, Southampton Dock, The Fletcher Memorial Home, Perfect Sense parts 1 and 2, Leaving Beirut, Sheep.

SECOND HALF: Dark Side of the Moon.

ENCORE: The Happiest Days Of Our Lives, Another Brick In The Wall (Pt 2), Vera, Bring the Boys back Home, Comfortably Numb.

Saturday

The Shaguar and I caught up with my cousin Dave, his wife Tracy and their two month old daughter Kate for Yum Cha at the Golden Retriever (Century). They were in great form, in particular at starting to have a social life once more now that Kate was becoming more portable. Bub didn't even make a squeak the whole time we ate, and DID WE EAT! Ooooh, stomach dragging along the ground territory, it was.

After that we drove to Busselton, checked into our hotel then went to the Busselton Underwater Observatory. It involved a one mile walk to the end of what was in places a rather rickety pier. Once there it was a walk downstairs eight metres to the bottom of the ocean.

Lots of fun, and as a picture is worth 1,000 words and I want you to not be bored to death reading my blog, heres some photos to give you an idea of what we saw.

On the way down.

At sea level

One of the support pylons half way down.

At the sea floor.

Blurry Angel Fish

School of blurry Fish

Sunday

We did a gentle cruise towards Margaret River, stopping off on the way at Cape Naturaliste and we checked out the lighthouse. On the way up we saw the worlds first media tart Splendid Blue Wren. It loved having it's picture taken, giving us poses in many positions.

Then we climbed the relatively short 19m high light tower (built in 1904) which I suprisingly forgot to take a photo of and took photos.

A view over Bunker Bay

A view of Sugar Loaf

Then we cruised off to Sugar Loaf and had a look.

Mmmmmm, polydeformed rock. Just with the naked eye I could see at least two cleavage planes.

After this we cruised to the Ngigli Caves and had a look at some Stalagmites, Stalactites, Coralloids, Shields and Trays. It was quite a good cave with an upper and lower section. So here's some random photos from in the cave.




It was quite hard going in the lower levels of the cave due to the high CO2 content, but it was brilliantly set out with walkways and lighting displays that could be activiated by the viewer.

After this we went to Margaret River and settled in.

Monday

We did SFA. It's a holiday, so sue us.

The day consisted of a sleep in, wandering around Margaret River, with me buying another stubbie holder to add to my collection and the Shaguar exploring the local op-shops. We bought some really edible gourmet food, which included steak, coffee (for the Shaguar of course), chocolate and fudge. And let me tell you that the meat we bought was Japanese export quality ('effen $$$, but sooo worth it), so I'm telling you it was seriously good.

Then we siesta'ed and settled in to watch Foxtel and Top Gear.

Tuesday

We explored, going to a local olive oil production place that was marked on our tourist map. We cruised down a dirt track onto a thinner corrugated dirt track, despite the distinct lack of signage. We then cruised on thinking we'd missed it before it materialised with a big CLOSED sign on the gate. Sod 'em, I thought.

So we went to a small town antiques/second hand shop where the Shaguar happily perused while I checked out their collection of Harry Secombe, Kahmahl and Oompah band records.

After this we went to a local brewery where I sunk a beer and had a stare through an upper story viewing platform window at a dreadlocked worker poking at something in a vat with a stick. It's amazing how the merest association with beer can make even the most mundane tasks seem interesting. I wasn't really in the mood to drink to excess so we cruised home and relaxed once more.

Wednesday

A big day for "serious gourmet shit" as they say in the classics.

Despite to the previous days disappointing olive oil experience we cruised to another place and this time it came up with the goods. We had a most enjoyable tasting before settling on a big assed bottle of Big Nev. I can't remember the reason why it was called that other than it had something to do with the Spanish olives used in it which gave it a real olive taste. They also had parmesan and chili flavoured oils as well as four other types of extra virgin olive oil, which we tasted multiple times.

The Shaguar went nuts and bought an olive pitter, some bagged nuts, olive shaving cream for me along with the Big Nev.

After this we cruised to a winery which, in it's advertising blurb, had a "make your own wine and label" package. It was also the local coffee wholesaler, so the Shaguar was in seventh heaven and following a coffee and the purchase of a bag of white chocolate coated coffee beans, we wandered into to the winery shop to ask about making a wine.

They told us we should normally book, but they'd ask if we could be squeezed in. After a short break the serving girl came out and said the guy could squeeze us in. He came out (it turned out he was the owners son) looking pissed or stoned. Actually, from experience I'd say it was likely that it was both.

Gotta love the afro, and although you can't see it he also had the wispy porn mustache. He was also a funny bugger who was quite happy to show us around the production facilities and give us the tour. This was mostly because he told us with gusto that there was a bus tour due that he was avoiding because he was taking care of us.

The Shaguar chose a sparkling Shiraz (not Champagne TM- no, most certainly not!) from the fridge. It had it's tip which had the slug of added sugar frozen then sucked out in a funky machine, for which the Shaguar had to get kitted out (blurrily) in safety gear.




After that it was mixed with other wines.

Then our guide told the Shaguar to continue to top it up, top it up, top it up... then said "Whoa, dude! You've over filled the bottle. You'll have to knock the top off it."

So she did.

The guy who helped make up the wine told us he was also responsible for their spirit line. So we then had a tasting of limoncello, coffee and chocolate were all quite tasty. Given the Shaguar had already have several wine tastings previously she was bouncing off the ceiling. She then went nuts and along with her bottle of sparkling shiraz bought a bottle of Coffee liqueur and a bottle of Limoncello for me Mum.

After this we drove to a self serve organic vegie farm and picked the Shaguar a punnet of strawberries before retiring home for another relaxing night in.

Christ, this is taking a long time. I'll finish off part two tomorrow.

Tedium

Ever been stuck in limbo?

You know, that place where you know you've got lots of stuff to do, but can't get it started or finished because you're relying upon other people to get one crucial part of what you're going to be working on finished for you.

Welcome to my world.

Still, once things get done (finally) I'm going to be so busy I won't have time to scratch myself. HOORAY!

At least I have the Shaguar coming over in under two weeks and the two of will go on holidays for eleven days. I'll have to take some photos.

Brown Rivers and Brown Trousers

Greetings all! My sister has come through with the goods and sent a CD of the remaining photos of my time in Derby. So here is an second tome of what else I got up to in my time up north.

I went out and visited the Prison Boab, which was, despite being a place of significance for the local Aboriginal population, used by the early settlers as a place to incarcerate Aboriginals that had broken the law and I believe it was also used to hold Aboriginals that had been taken by 'blackbirders'. Blackbirders who were whites who captured Aboriginals and then sold them into slavery for the pearling industry in Broome. It's such a shame for such a beautiful and majestic tree (which could well be near a thousand years old) to have such a disturbing recent past.

And here's a better idea of what it looks like inside.

The names and initials you see carved on the outside are from when the site used to be an army and airforce base back in WW2, when the northern Australian coastline was being bombed by the Japanese. Bit of a waste of munitions if you ask me. The site was also a stopping off point for drovers driving cattle between Derby and Broome and thus there is the Longest Watering Trough In The Southern Hemisphere TM.

Other than that there was more time with the dogs. Here is what generally occurred in pictorial and descriptive form. As I was patting Lucky with one hand, Luci decided that as he wasn't getting enough attention (despite me patting him withe my other hand). So he decided he would climb onto me.

Being the complete attention whore that he is, he then decided that being patted with one hand wasn't enough, so he had to try to appropriate the hand I was patting Lucky with.

Unfortunately, Clare didn't catch a shot of Luci going A over T off the chair onto the floor.

Other than that it was swimming in the Derby pool (no photos of that- be glad) and exploring around town prior to heading out to the Fitzroy River with a woman that Clare works with, called Ness. She was heading out to visit her brother Neville and sister in law Jo at Udialla Springs Station and took us along for the ride.

On the way out Ness drove off into the bush and stopped the four wheel drive at a stand of paperbark trees in a sandy floodplain. I climbed out wondering what the stop was for when she wandered over too a tree, picked up a pile of paperbark sitting at the base of one and showed us a hole dug into the roots.

It would have been about twenty centimetres in diameter and about eighty to ninety centimetres deep and it was full of water.

Being a fairly warm day and having drunk a good portion of my water already I happily refilled my water bottle while Clare snapped away with her camera.

After that Ness took us to a waterhole where she threw in a net and caught some (yabbies, marin?) freshwater crayfish type thingies. Clare was much more brave than I and happily volunteered to pick up those caught and put them into a bucket. She duly got bitten not once, but twice by the first she tried with. Heres one of the nasty buggers in all it's glory.

After catching a good half dozen, and from what I was told, quite large beasties we went to head off in the four wheel drive. Ness turned the key. Nothing. Tried again, the starter kicked in. Still nothing. We're parked down by the river in a one way track. So we need to do a three point turn prior to getting on what is (thankfully) a downhill track to give it a push start. This is when being a big bastard comes in handy, so a quarter hour of puffing and exertion later we've turned it around, got it rolling downhill and got the engine to kick over. Ness kept the revs up from then on to make sure the car didn't conk before getting to the homestead.

Once we got to the homestead, which despite looking like a corrugated shed, was quite nicely appointed inside with huge fridges, air conditioners, fans and a comfortable dining table to sit around and chat. Apart from running a cattle station and wrangling two young kids, Jo and Neville also run a Kimberly guided tour company, which allows you to name your destination(s) and itinerary. It can be found on http://www.uptuyu.com.au/

After a while of socialising, having a cold drink, putting care packages away in child safe cupboards and the fridge we packed the eskies and fold up chairs and cruised to the Fitzroy River for a picnic.

Now, for those of you who have never been to the north in Summer, it's the wet season. Thankfully it hadn't rained much over Derby while I was there, but it has certainly been raining elsewhere and the Fitzroy was rising. Jo and Neville said they had a picnic at the river the day before and when they arrived the sandbank they had sat on had all but disappeared underwater.

With the extra water flow came a stack of mud and debris, making the water brown, hence the title of the blog entry. The brown trousers wasn't due to dust on our travels or anything as benign as that. No, I shall go into that in a little more detail later. But first, a picture of the beautiful Fitzroy River.

Anyway, we settled down to a nice feed with our chairs in the river, keeping cool.

As we sat there, over the space of a couple of hours I could feel the water level of the river rising on my calves. Then I started getting an itch in the back of my neck. The higher the water level got the worse the itch got. After a while I just had to get out of my chair, sit on the bank with my feet in the water and watch the river flow past.

I'm sure anyone who knows me can attest I'm certainly not a bushman, but I've heard from numerous sources that Saltwater Crocodiles are found right along the length of the Fitzroy River. And it is when the river is flowing at its strongest that they're at their most active in moving up and down the length of it. I also know that they're patient buggers and will happily observe and stalk their prey, often waiting for them to return and hiding nearby until they're ready to strike. Given Jo and Neville had been picnicking there the previous day, this did little to quell my discomfort. I also know they can appear, seemingly from nowhere, in quite shallow water.

Now, I know I may sound paranoid here, everyone else seemed quite unfazed by it and everyone being quite vigilant. Reason told me to defer to their superior knowledge and experience, but it was near impossible for me to ignore the primal centre of my brain screaming at me to GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WATER! BIG MONSTER LIVE HERE! SHARP TEETH! OOONGAWA! OOONGAWA!!

So I happily sat on the bank of the river.

In fact, Neville mentioned that when his son was born a few years earlier, a four metre salty had appeared around the area we were picnicking and stayed for the duration of the pregnancy. It left just before he was born. One of his Uncles (a local elder) said this was a portent and that his son's avatar is the Saltwater Crocodile. Another Uncle (also a local elder) said "Saltwater Crocodile?! SHOOT THE BLOODY THING!".

A little bit of a conflict of opinion there, methinks.

Anyway, no sightings, no people suffering the fate that many predicted would have likely been Steve Irwins demise and a pleasant picnic by the Fitzroy.

Come New Years, Clare and I hitched a ride to Broome with a local doctor who had come to Australia from India, seeking a new challenge having worked for several years for the Sultan of Brunei. He was a lovely man and had many interesting stories to tell and he and Clare chatted away happily in the front of the car about mysticism, spirituality and eastern philosophy.

At one stage or another, everyone would have encountered someone in their life that just doesn't know how to drive a car. Well, this was one of those times.

In the end I forced myself to doze off to sleep as I got tired of grinding my teeth as we jerked our way around corners or raced up at speed behind other cars, then slowed to a crawl and followed them for a good five to ten minutes before he realised he could just overtake them in a trice in his brand new, top of the line Ford. Despite Clares subtle and not so subtle hints that if he wanted too, she could drive, he was quite happy to do so all the way to Broome.

We explored the town, checked out the old pearling dock that has now been overgrown with mangroves, stopped off at various friends houses for a visit and paid a visit to a local microbrewery, Matso's (short for Matsomuto's- a Japanese pearler who settled in town in the '50s and founded the business). I happily drank a schooner of each beer they had on their menu in the space of an hour. Here's a picture of me admiring the local artwork (the caption on the picture is "Now that's a nice Ginger")

New Years was a fun occasion at the ninety year old Sun City indoor/outdoor cinema. Quite a decent crowd was in attendance as local indigenous musicians, The Pigram Brothers, put on quite a gig. I would recommend their folksy/country/melodic rock to anyone. Excellent stuff. There are seven (!) brothers in the band and throughout the night numerous family members (including the support band made up of various teenage Pigram children) got up on stage and sung and played.

I only drank a couple of beers on the night, having done my dash earlier, but Clare got happily sozzled, starting with St Angus (which coincidentally was the name of the Pigram kids band) brandy, a half bottle of white wine and later, the demand that I buy her a couple of beers.

Throughout the night Clare introduced to a stack of people, many of whom even she didn't know, and I even got up to dance under a threat of Clare crying if I didn't. Upon producing the second beer that Clare marched me to the bar for (not really, but I'm enjoying telling the story) I turned around to discover she was gone.

I looked over the crowd (everyone in Broome is short) and couldn't spot her anywhere. So, knowing she would be up the front dancing, I headed in that direction, scanning the crowd. I stood on the edge of the dancefloor with a beer in my hand and couldn't see her anywhere until finally I spotted her.

She was most certainly up the front.

She was standing on a podium at the front of the stage, right next to the band, dancing away to her hearts content, oblivious to the world around her. She was also thankful for the beer.

Anyway. We got home late after I drove everyone home. Trying to get four drunk people out of a venue after a good night is like trying to herd cats.

Clare was surprisingly mildly hung over the next day and we happily pottered around town. She showed me her previous abodes, and by mid afternoon had to leave for Derby so she get back before the sunset. I watched Happy Feet (not a bad lighthearted movie, good storyline and Australian made. I'd recommend it) at the local cinema before flying out that night. No wonder I was tired when I got back home.