Now, where was I?

After a 15 hour flight with an hours stop over in Sydney, I was suitably knackered as we pulled into LAX. To my surprise the customs and border security types were not the horror story I've heard others having to suffer. I had six hours in LA and no real desire to leave the airport as it was hot and humid outside, so I spent the first hour checking my bags and exploring the terminals.

Having done that I went through the security cordon, put all my gear (including my shoes) through the X-ray machine and went and got something to eat. I found my terminal, surfed the 'net, made a phone call home, wandered to another terminal and had a beer while watching NASCAR (gives you an idea how bored I was) and gradually the hours ticked away.

Boarding time (YAAAAARRRR!), the person says when we board it will be first class, then people at the back of the plane to come on first. Then nothing.... ten minutes later "I apologise, it appears we have a problem with the plane, we shall try to rectify it and notify you when we do".

Anyway, long story short. Six hours, three promised planes, a near riot in the terminal and two phone calls to Tone later at 10.30pm (two hours after the time we would have landed in New Orleans) we leave LAX. Delta sucks fat ones people, bear that in mind.

So I arrive in New Orleans at 4.30am (+2 hours for crossing the country) on Monday and poor Tone (who was going to meet me at 12.30am) picks me up and takes me back to his place an hours drive north on Lake Ponchetrain, in new Mandeville. I say hi to Buffy, give Tone his and Ems presents (five litres of Milo and roll on deoderants that Em can't get in the USA) but Em is away in Florida with her parents. Tone gives me the tour of the house and let me tell you it is absolutely fecking HUGE! Six large bedrooms, two bathrooms, three toilets, massive living area, study, kitchen and dining area. I'll have to get the video I took off Tone and post it somewhere so you can have a look.

Now Tone has an hour before he's due at work, so we take Buffy for a walk around the golfcourse his house backs onto and I make dew angels on the fairway. Tone cleans himself up, gets dressed for work and leaves me to my own devices in the house and tells me not to fall asleep until that night. Hundreds of channels of cable TV and broadband internet hundreds of times faster than anything we get in Australia and I'm happy.

After eating breakfast, watching a movie, about two hours of YouTube clips and about half an hour of NFL preseason, I fall asleep on the couch around 3pm. Tone gets home at 6 to find me still there. Well, can you blame me? I've had about six hours sleep in the last two days.

We go exploring as Tone shows me what life is like around the rather affluent, but with some distinct redneck area of semi-rural (but semi-urban) Louisiana. It's a bizarre mix of stand alone shopping strips (each with its own car park) and no footpaths, HUGE houses on HUGE blocks with HUGE cars and road rules that make me spend the first couple of days flinching every time we reach an intersection or turn a corner. Tone takes me to a bar in old Mandeville (which I think has infinite more charm- and footpaths) and we have a beer and hamburger (both of which were quite nice) before cruising home for the both of us to have a really good nights sleep.


The Tuesday we're up bright eyed and bushy tailed to go shopping. Firstly we stop in old Mandeville and have brekkie at a local cafe. I'm hungry so I order a side of mushrooms, sausages, hashbrowns, bacon and toast. It arrives and I realise there's a reason so many people in the US are obese, the servings are fucking ENORMOUS! My mushrooms arrived covered in cheese and swimming in a garlic butter sauce in a dish I swear I could've swum in. I battled manfully but was thankful that Tone had brought Buffy along as she scored most of my bacon and sausages.

And while we're on bacon, I have to say US (and north American in general) bacon sucks the big fat pink one. It's the equivalent to the thin strip on the end of the bacon we have in Oz, but with the fat cut off. Then they fry it to within an inch of its life. I'm looking forward to some fat arsed Australian rasher bacon when I get home.

After this I'm a bit hairy having not shaved for three weeks due to a rash. Well, the rash has cleared up so I go to the local barbershop for a trim and shave. Tone takes Buff to the lake for a swim and eventually I get in. I have a great chat with the barber about Australia (it's as big as the US but only has 20 million people), sport (we both agree baseball sucks, he because of steroids while he loves the local College football team, LSU) and life being born and living in Mandeville and how it has changed with all the new development around it. He also gives me a good trim, which impressively includes my eyebrows and nostril hair. If thats a standard, I might have to find me a good barber in Australia.

Following waiting outside for a while in the air condidtioned car, I finally depart with Tone as he takes me to Best Buy and I get a spanking new digital camera with a case and 4GB memory card for less than I could get it for in Australia, including exchange rates. Then I buy some sunnies and I'm set. Following this Tone tells me to pack a day pack with two days worth of clothes as we're heading off to New Orleans for a mystery flight.

That afternoon we arrive in New Orleans and Tone does a scoot around the areas that were pasted by Hurricane Katrina, including a drive past the section of the levee that broke. It was pretty eerie seeing the still abandoned houses with the cross and symbols that designated the house had been searched and what was found painted on the outside.

We pull into the airport, park the car, head to the terminal, walk straight past a line that would have taken about an hour to get through to electroncially check in with SouthWest (travelling with carry on ROCKS!) and we're set. A beer in a bar later and our plane is called. As Tone had checked in online the day before, we get our choice of seats and despite having landed 15 minutes beforehand we're soon taxiing our way down the runway on our way to Orlando, Florida. WE'RE GOING TO DISNEYLAND!

I just have to note that when flying Southwest we had no hassles or delays at all, our flights were dirt cheap (thanks for that, Tone) and as Tone swears by them, I'd also recommend Southwest if you're travelling in the US.

So at around 9.30 we pull into Orlando and are picked up by Em and taken to our hotel. I meet Ems parents once more and we all collapse for a good nights sleep before hitting the parks.

To be continued.